Old Fashioned, Mind-numbing Math for Book Layout in the Middle of the Night

Ever since that wild, late night with a pterodactyl flying over Venice, we haven't been able to sleep at night. What keeps us awake (aside from bills, the Buffalo Bills and more fucking bills than a duck convention in Wyoming)? Grand dreams of a universal imposition to every book ever printed.

So we draw out amateur scribblings of page layouts to satisfy our tendencies towards neurosis, searching for the perfect equation for quarter legal-sized books with pencil nubs and a cold coffee.